(How to calm down quickly when upset? - transcript of a Sister Shivani video I watched)
There is a child lying in a cradle. It has been crying for the previous 20 seconds. Its mother abandons her work/chore, and tends to it. After doing so, she gets back to her work.
The kid is her first priority.
If she doesn’t placate it so, her baby will keep on wailing.
The child inside of me cries for days and days, but I don’t make an effort to approach it and mollify its pain.
When I get to the little one, after locating its whereabouts, I ask it what the problem is.
It tells us - someone lied to me and hurt me.
Once I know the origin of the pain, I can try to ease it.
But I don’t do so.
The mind cries a little, I get tense. It cries a bit more and I get stressed. Anymore and I say I have anxiety.
I could have pacified the child at the earliest state (when it was merely a little tense). But I thought- Stress to natural hai. The Doctor also said so.
Some people are busy even as they are doing nothing. A different breed of people are easy in their minds and behavior even as they are performing a bunch of tasks.
One could be doing very little but still be stressed.
While doing everything else, I have to take care of my mind.
Every thought that enters the vicinity of my consciousness has an effect on me.
There is a desperate need to choose the direction of my thoughts.
Let’s conduct a thought experiment and ask ourselves a question(s).
Is stress natural?
Is stress natural?
Is stress natural?
Is stress natural?
Is stress natural?
Is stress natural?
Or do I create stress? Do I create anger?
I am compromising my happiness and wellbeing pretending that my stress and anger are natural phenomenon.
I NEED TO CHECK WHAT CAUSES STRESS IN MY DAYS.
HURT-------------HATRED----------STRESS--------ANGER--------IRRITATION-----------
They are all one family.
Peace--------love ------------compassion-------------care----------- another family.
THE FAMILY MEMBERS DON’T COME ONE BY ONE, THEY COME ALL AT ONCE.
When I am stressed, I will think hazy, hurt easily, and get vexed at the drop of a hat.
But there is good news here.
When they go, they leave together too.
They are all interconnected.
If I am stressed I am susceptible to being irked at petty matters.
It is either weakness, or strength.
Health or disease.
It is binary.
If my immunity is weak, I will invite a bus of diseases, all at once.
I get annoyed when others don’t behave like I want them to, and when they don’t meet my expectations.
I should think back and reimagine the time when I reacted poorly to adverse news/behavior. Can I react differently, in hindsight?
As a thought experiment, I should try to see myself reacting differently in the same scenario; in turn teaching myself.……. another ways was possible.
On reflecting back I realize I have reacted badly to the circumstance, but the in the next moment of crisis, I will not repeat the same behavior.
A person may make a mistake but I am not obliged to reacting in the wrong manner.
WHEN I LOSE MY SHIT, I AM DEPLETING MY ENERGY, CREATING A FOG IN MY MIND.
I AM SOLELY HURTING MYSELF. THE OTHER PERSON DOESN’T HAVE A CLUE.
Forgiveness is also meditation. When I think back, and act differently in an alternate reality, it is like a dress rehearsal for real life.
I am annoyed by a particular sanskar of a person, but I don’t acknowledge the fact that people are comfortable as they are.
They don’t want to change.
Still, I deplete my bank of energy, thinking about their actions and their words.
Can I keep my brain stable when someone does something bad that hurt me a lot?
WHO IS HURT?
ONE WHO ANGERS OR ONE WHO IS AGITATED?
EVERY THOUGHT I CREATE AFFECTS ONLY ME AND NO ONE ELSE.
IT AFFECTS HOW I FEEL. I AM NOT SPARED OF BEING AFFECTED BY ANY SINGLE THOUGHT.
EVERY THOUGHT i CREATE HAS A POTENTIAL TO HARM ME. IT IS TRANSFERRRED LIKE AN SMS, NON-RETURNABLE.
I CREATE STRESS AND ANGER.
I TELL MYSELVES I CAN’T CONTROL STRESS. It’s a lie.
I tell my mind it will come and go as it pleases.
No.
Ek ek thought should be vetted.
Soch kar socho. Ye kya soch liya maine?
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